Be Too Big, Please!

You will be told to be realistic. To think things through. To weigh the consequences. More often than not, this is simply a request to make your ambition easier to tolerate. Being misunderstood isn’t a weakness. It’s information. You are not here to be legible to everyone.

When people say they pursued what they wanted, they’re usually sincere. They explored the idea. They entertained the possibility. They took action within limits that still felt defensible.

What’s rarely acknowledged is where that pursuit ended.

Most people stop not because they fail, but because ambition becomes too costly. Comfort and approval take priority.

This is how people quietly exit their own wants.

They stop before rejection. Before having to explain themselves. Before wanting more causes risk.

Over time, the distance between what was desired and what was accepted becomes easy to rationalize. The language changes. They didn’t abandon the ambition—they outgrew it. They didn’t stop—they became “realistic.”

In this context, realism isn’t clarity. It’s a negotiated peace with fear, articulated well enough to live with.

There’s been many times where I’ve negotiated myself downward. I edited my ambition to be more palatable. I tried to fit into versions of myself that required less explanation and fewer raised eyebrows. It didn’t make me more liked. It made me less honest.

People should think your dreams are unrealistic. If they don’t, you’re likely operating within the limits of what’s already been approved. Let others stay inside the constraints they call safety. Just don’t accept them as your own.

The world is not small. It is tightly managed by people who benefit from you believing it is.

Discomfort is often interpreted as fear. What if that discomfort is actually you cheering yourself on? That flutter in our chest, the one we’ve all labeled fear… maybe it’s an inner applause. That response isn’t a warning. It’s evidence of relevance.

Proceed accordingly.